During the study of the Civil War, family life is often overlooked in favor of the concentration on battlefields and politicians. The Civil War split many families and friends, and brother fought brother on the battlefield. In some areas, the war pitted father against son, and husband against wife. For example, Confederate General “Stonewall” Jackson’s sister was a Unionist. Many states had men fighting in both armies. Border towns, with divided loyalties to the Union and Confederacy, would experience violence amongst its townsfolk.

During the war, many families were left with only mothers and daughters to run the house and earn money to feed and clothe the family. Women had to step in and fill the place of men who left for war. Among middle-class families, wives and mothers had little experience providing for their families. Women found the transition to running a household traumatic, but most persevered. Many women found themselves running farms or businesses, or working as nurses. During this time, homes became hospitals, and the Red Cross was started by Clara Barton. Women worked on relief efforts, food drives, and medical collections. There were even some women in combat and some who were spies.

Prices for basic necessities like sugar and salt skyrocketed. Coffee, tea, candles, paper, and shoes became luxury items. Livestock and produce in the South were destroyed, and confederate money became worthless. Many families wandered from area to area in search of food and shelter.

Families on both sides shared a common trait: the pain of personal loss. Husbands and fathers died by the hundreds of thousands. Almost one in five men who fought for the Confederacy died, with many returning wounded and maimed. Many would have been diagnosed with what is called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) today. The Civil War took a devastating toll on family life. While the war did hold the Union together, and eventually ended slavery, human and family suffering should never be forgotten.