Illuminati strikes in Valley of Ashes – Anonymous witness tells all….except who they are….

Illuminati confirmed as the culprit of weird crime involving a Great Gatsby character.

March 9, 2015

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Just last night, whilst the moon was at its peak, a hit-and-run driver struck down a woman now identified as Myrtle Wilson. According to an anonymous witness who remains to be anonymous who is anonymous they said that they saw a mad woman run out into the street screaming and wailing like a crazed banshee at the end of an irish funeral. Now we don’t like to bring up things concerning other ethnicities and unique customs related to them but that is again, how the anonymous witness described it. After she ran out into the street a yellow car drove right into her intentionally and then kept going driving down the road like a bat outta hell. We sent our reporter A. Emerick Jones (of the radio show) to the scene and then back to headquarters and then back to the scene and then back to HQ again. And then back to the scene.  Was this just a hit-and-run, or something more sinister? Perhaps an extra-judicial assassination to remove critical evidence associated with the organization known as…… the Illuminati? Myrtle was run down by a yellow car. What else is the color yellow? That’s right, gold. Gold is a symbol of wealth and financial power. Where is gold stored? That’s right, the bank. But wait there’s more; How many letters are in the word bank? 4. There are three sides in a triangle. 4 – 3 is one. Illuminati has one eye. Myrtle killed by the Illuminati confirmed.


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